4. Grooming

Grooming is a process where someone builds a relationship, trust, and emotional connection to manipulate, exploit, and sometimes abuse you. It can happen online or in person, and it is often disguised as care, attention, or even love. However, it is important to recognize that grooming is not about love—it’s about control and exploitation.

• “He make me feel like I am the most important person in their world by constantly messaging, praising, or spending time with me” (Giving Speacial Attention to Build Emotional Dependence)

• "He always gave me gifts and said I was special, but then he started touching me in ways that didn’t feel right. I thought he was being kind, but now I feel trapped." (Using Gifts to Build Dependence and Manipulate)

• "He kept telling me that no one else understands me like he does and that I should stop spending time with my friends and family. I felt like he was the only person I could trust." (Creating Emotional Dependence to Gain Control)

• "At first, he only hugged me, but then he started touching me more. When I told him to stop, he said I was overreacting and being immature." (Gradually Escalating Physical Contact)

• "He said, ‘This is our little secret,’ and kept telling me that what we were doing was normal, even though it made me feel uncomfortable." (Minimizing and Normalizing Abuse)

• "He told me that he loves me and that this is how people show love. I was confused because I didn’t feel ready for what he wanted." (Exploiting Innocence and Emotions)

• "He was a teacher I looked up to, and he said I was mature for my age. He made me feel special, but now I realize he was taking advantage of me." (Abusing a Position of Authority or Trust)

• "He said if I didn’t do what he wanted, he’d tell everyone I was lying about him, and no one would believe me. I felt trapped and scared." (Intimidation to Maintain Control)