3. Rape

Rape is a non-consensual penetration (vaginal, anal, or oral) of a body part or object. Here are the important elements to ponder:

Rape is About Power, Not Passion
Rape is an act of violence and control, not a result of uncontrollable sexual desire.

Consent is Essential and Ongoing
If someone says ‘yes’ but is coerced, threatened, or too intoxicated to understand, it is not real consent.

Clear Consent Consent must be freely given, enthusiastic, and can be withdrawn at any time.

Without Consent Any penetration that occurs without explicit consent is rape, regardless of the circumstances.

Rape Can Happen in Different Situations:
Rape can occur in various contexts and is not limited to strangers

Rape Can Happen to Anyone
Victims can be of any gender, age, or sexual orientation.

What you wear is Not an Invitation Rape is never the victim’s fault. Clothing choices do not cause rape—rapists do. The idea that revealing or ‘provocative’ clothing invites sexual violence is a harmful myth rooted in victim-blaming.

Rape Often Involves Someone You Know
Statistics show that most perpetrators are known to the victim (e.g., friends, relatives, partners).

Forms of Rape

Age-related Rape/Statutory Rape

• "He told me he loved me and that age didn’t matter, so I believed it was okay. But I didn’t realize that what he was doing was wrong and against the law." (Grooming and Emotional Manipulation)

• "He said I was so mature for my age and can already handle sex and that no one else would understand me like he does. I trusted him, but now I realize I was too young to consent." (Exploitation of Power Dynamics)

• "I thought I agreed to it because he was my boyfriend, but now I understand I wasn’t old enough to truly give consent. He used that to take advantage of me." (Lack of Legal Consent)

• "He said, ‘If you don’t do this, I’ll tell everyone your secrets and ruin your life.’ I was scared, so I gave in, even though I didn’t want to." (Coercion and Fear Tactics)

• "He kept giving me gifts and said he wanted to take care of me. I felt like I owed him something, but I didn’t realize he was using that to take advantage of me." (Transactional Exploitation)

Corrective Sexual Rape

• "Someone I thought was a friend raped me and said, 'This will make you realize you're not really gay.' I feel violated and betrayed." (Targeting Sexual Orientation)

• "A neighbor cornered me and said, 'You think you’re a man? Let me show you what a real man is like,' before raping me. I froze because I didn’t know what to do." (Threats and Power Dynamics)

• "After the rape, they said, 'You’ll thank me for making you normal.' I feel disgusted and ashamed, but I know it’s not my fault." (Psychological Abuse Coupled with Sexual Violence)

• "My family said I needed to change, so they allowed someone to force themselves on me to 'cure' my being a lesbian. They told me this was for my own good, but it feels so wrong." (Manipulation and Societal Pressure)

• "I was told that being with women is sinful, and the only way to save my soul was to be with a man. When I refused, they forced themselves on me, saying it was for my salvation." (Religious Coercion and Violence)

Incest Rape

• "I feel confused and scared because a relative—someone I trusted—started touching me in ways that made me uncomfortable. They told me it was our ‘secret’ and that I couldn’t tell anyone because no one would believe me." (Manipulation by a Trusted Family Member)

• "A family member came into my room at night and forced me to do things I didn’t want to do. They said it was because they loved me, but I feel ashamed and afraid." (Forced Sexual Acts by a Family Member)

• "My uncle started making me sit on his lap and touching my body. When I tried to move away, he said I was being rude and that I should ‘respect him.’" (Grooming and Coercion by a Family Authority Figure)

Remember! Perpetrators may start with inappropriate touches, gifts, or secretive behavior to manipulate and isolate you before committing rape.

• "My stepbrother cornered me when no one was home and said if I didn’t comply, he’d tell my parents lies to get me in trouble. I didn’t know how to say no." (Threats and Intimidation by a Family Peer)

Partner Rape

• "My boyfriend said that as his partner, I owed him sex whenever he wanted it. When I refused, he got angry and forced himself on me."

• "He said, ‘If you really loved me, you’d do this,’ and kept pressuring me even though I said no. I felt guilty and confused, but I didn’t want to." (Emotional Blackmail)

• "He said, ‘If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll break up with you,’ and I felt like I didn’t have a choice." (Using Relationship Threats to Coerce)

• "After he had been drinking, he pushed himself on me, saying I was his girlfriend and shouldn’t say no. I felt trapped and afraid." (Alcohol-Fueled Aggression)

• "I thought I was safe with him, but he assaulted me when we were alone. He said I shouldn’t complain because we’re in a relationship." (Betrayal of Trust)

• "He held me down and ignored my protests, saying, ‘Stop overreacting—you’ll enjoy it.’ I felt scared and powerless." (Using Physical Force to Overcome Resistance)

Marital Rape

• "He told me, ‘You’re my wife, so it’s your duty to satisfy me,’ even though I said I wasn’t in the mood. I felt forced and powerless." (Using Marital Roles to Justify Rape)

• "Last night, he pinned me down and forced himself on me, ignoring my screams and protests. He said, ‘You’re my wife—I can do whatever I want.’" (Using Physical Force to Overcome Refusal)

• "I told him I wasn’t ready after giving birth, but he said, ‘It’s been long enough—you’ll be fine,’ and didn’t stop even though it hurt." (Disregard for Emotional or Physical Pain)

• "He said, ‘If you don’t do this, I’ll find someone else who will,’ and I felt like I didn’t have a choice." (Using Threats of Punishment to Enforce Submission)

• "He told me, ‘I provide for you, so you owe me this.’ I felt trapped and didn’t know how to refuse." (Financial and Emotional Control in Marriage)

• "During intimacy, he suddenly tried something I didn’t agree to. When I asked him to stop, he said, ‘You don’t get to decide—it’s my right as your husband.’" (Violation of Consent During Intimate Moments)

Diminished Capacity Rape

• “Due to my psychological incapability to fight back, someone raped me.”

• "Because of my condition, I didn’t fully understand what was happening. They took advantage of my confusion and did things I couldn’t consent to." (Exploiting Cognitive Impairment)

• "I couldn’t fight back because of my physical disability. They knew I couldn’t move or resist, and they used that to force themselves on me." (Exploiting Physical Inability to Resist)

• "I couldn’t speak to say no, but my body language clearly showed I was uncomfortable. They ignored it and said it didn’t matter." (Disregard for Non-Verbal Communication)

• "They were supposed to take care of me, but instead, they touched me inappropriately when I couldn’t defend myself." (Abuse of Trust in Caregiving Situations)

Substance Facilitated Rape

• "I was at a party, and after a few sips of the drink someone handed me, I started feeling dizzy and couldn’t remember anything after that. When I woke up, my clothes were disheveled, and I felt violated." (Unconsciousness Caused by Drugged Drink)

• "I drank too much, and someone took advantage of me while I was barely aware of what was happening. I remember saying no, but I couldn’t fight back because I was too weak." (Exploiting Alcohol Intoxication)

• "I was drugged and couldn’t move or speak. I could feel them in me, but I was completely helpless to stop them." (Physical Incapacitation by Drugs)

• "They said I agreed to everything, but I don’t even remember what happened after that drink. I didn’t have the ability to make any decisions in that state." (Exploitation of Substance-Induced Memory Loss)

• "They offered me a drink, saying it was just for fun, but I didn’t know they had put something in it. I trusted them, and they used that against me." (Trust Exploited for Control)

Acquaintance (friend) & Date Rape

• "We were studying together, and I trusted him as a friend. But when we were alone, he started touching me in ways I didn’t agree to. I froze, and he said, ‘You’re overreacting—we’re just having fun.’" (Exploitation of Trust)

• "He took me out to dinner, and afterward, he kept insisting we go back to his place. I didn’t want to, but he said, ‘I spent so much on tonight—you owe me.’ Once we were alone, he wouldn’t take no for an answer." (Pressure Through Guilt or Obligation)

• "We were watching a movie at my house, and when I told him to stop touching me, he said, ‘Come on, don’t act like you don’t want this.’ He didn’t stop, even though I said no." (Disregarding Verbal Refusal)

• "At a party, I felt dizzy after a few drinks. My date offered to take me home, but instead, he brought me to his place and raped me. I couldn’t stop him because I was too weak to fight back." (Taking Advantage of Intoxication)

• After I told him I didn’t want to have sex, he said, ‘If you really liked me, you’d do this.’ I felt pressured and scared, and now I feel used." (Emotional Manipulation and Guilt-Tripping)

Aggravated Rape

• "He said, ‘If you don’t do what I say, I’ll hurt you or your family.’ I was terrified and felt like I had no choice but to comply." (Threatening Harm to Gain Control)

• "He held a knife to my throat and told me not to scream. I froze, fearing for my life, and couldn’t fight back." (Use of a Weapon to Intimidate and Overpower)

• "He grabbed me, pinned me down, and hit me when I tried to resist. I kept begging him to stop, but he didn’t listen." (Physical Assault Leading to Rape

• "He said, ‘Do what I want, or you’ll regret it,’ while showing me his gun. I was too scared to move or say no." (Coercion Using the Threat of Serious Injury or Death)

• "He kept saying, ‘If you tell anyone, I’ll come back for you,’ while raping me. I felt completely helpless and afraid for my safety." (Ongoing Intimidation Throughout the Assault)

Campus Rape

• "I trusted him because he was a friend, but when he came to my dorm room, he ignored my protests and forced himself on me. I didn’t think something like this could happen where I live." (Betrayal of Trust in a Safe Space)

• "At a campus party, I started feeling dizzy after drinking something a classmate gave me. The next thing I remember is waking up in a stranger’s room with no idea what happened." (Substance-Facilitated Rape on Campus)

• "My professor invited me to his office after hours, saying he wanted to discuss my grades. Instead, he locked the door and raped me, telling me not to tell anyone if I wanted to pass the course." (Abuse of Authority in an Academic Setting)

• "He offered to help me with my project, but when we were alone in the library, he started touching me and wouldn’t stop until he got in me, even though I kept pushing him away." (Rapet in Shared Campus Spaces)

• "At my org event, someone I thought was a friend kept insisting we go to a quiet room. When I refused, he grabbed me and said, ‘No one will believe you if you say I forced you.’" (Manipulation and Threats During a Social Gathering)

Multiple Perpetrator/Gang Rape

• "They said they were just going to walk me home after the party, but instead, they took me to an empty room. One after another, they raped me while the others laughed and blocked the door." (Manipulation and Coercion in a Social Situation)

• "I trusted one of them, but they brought their friends along. They all cornered me, saying I couldn’t leave until I did what they wanted. I felt trapped and powerless." (Betrayal by Someone Trusted in a Group Setting)

• "They surrounded me, and one of them threatened to hurt me if I screamed. The others kept saying, ‘No one’s going to help you, so don’t even try.’" Group Intimidation to Prevent Escape)

• "They tricked me into going with them, saying it was just for fun. Once we were alone, they all took turns, ignoring my cries for help." (Deceptive Isolation Leading to Assault)

• "They recorded everything and said they would post the video if I told anyone. I feel ashamed and terrified." (Use of Technology to Blackmail and Silence)

Stranger Sexual Rape

Blitz Rape

• "I was walking home, and someone jumped out of nowhere, grabbed me, and dragged me into a dark alley. I screamed, but they covered my mouth, and I couldn’t fight them off." (Sudden, Violent Attack)

• "They came up behind me and hit me, leaving me too weak to resist. It happened so fast, I didn’t even see their face." (Overwhelming Force)

Contact Rape

• They pretended to be friendly, asking for directions, but when we were alone, they suddenly grabbed me and raped me. I trusted them because they seemed nice." (Deceptive Approach Leading to Rape)

• "They started chatting with me at the park, and I thought they were harmless. But when I tried to leave, they cornered me and wouldn’t let me go." (Manipulation of Trust to Isolate the Victim)

Home Invasion Rape

• "I was alone at home when someone broke in. They overpowered me and said if I screamed, they’d kill me. I was terrified and didn’t know what to do." (Rape in What Should Be a Safe Space)

• "I heard someone in the house and thought it was a family member, but when I saw them, they attacked me before I could run or call for help." (Surprise Attack in Familiar Surroundings)

Serial Rape

• "I found out the person who raped me had done this to others before. They stalked me for days, planning the attack." (Repeated Pattern of Targeting and Raping Victims)

• "The police said they were looking for someone who matched my attacker’s description because they had raped others in the same way." (Pattern of Predatory Behavior)

Rape in conjunction with Hate Crime

• "They targeted me because of my religion, saying, ‘People like you deserve this,’ while they rape me. I felt humiliated and dehumanized." (Motivated by Hatred Toward a Specific Identity)

• They called me slurs for being LGBTQ+ and said, ‘We’ll show you what you really need,’ before they raped me."(Sexual Violence Rooted in Hate and Prejudice)